As a new mother myself, the only gift I will ever want for Mother’s Day is time with my sweet blessings, Brooklyn (almost 2) and Carter (5 months). My mom always loved when her kids would come home, and her personal favorite- join her and my dad for church on Mother’s Day Sunday or any Sunday for that matter. I never really understood why, but now that she is gone it makes sense to me. I am sharing my experience hoping that I can help someone else who is dealing with grief. Whether it’s the loss of a mother, father, grandparent, sibling, or friend, I hope someone can find a level of peace through reading my experience.
A verse that I cling to these days is: “Your faith has made you well” Matthew 9:22 (ESV). The story from the Bible surrounding this verse has nothing to do with grief, but instead is about Jesus healing a woman when she touched his clothes. My mom loved and read it often after her diagnosis (6 months or less) holding on to her faith that only He had the power to heal her during the four years that she battled anaplastic thyroid cancer.
So what does this verse have to do with me, or the grieving? After all, my mom’s faith was unwavering and she still had her life taken by cancer. How does it relate to me when I still miss my mom every second of every day…grab my phone to call her, and start to add her to a family group text with pictures of my children? Or when to my surprise I miss her most in the happy times when I would have called her to tell her something great that happened, knowing that noone else will ever be as elated as she was when I would tell her that Brooklyn said a new word, rolled or crawled? The way it relates to me is actually pretty simple. These powerful words of Jesus “Your faith has made you well,” give me hope. No explanation or thing on this earth will ever give me a remnant of peace, strength, hope, or understanding as to why my mom was taken from this earth so soon. It is through the word of God, His mercy, and much grace that I find these things. Through my faith I realize that God’s plan is better than mine. It will never be easy to accept that she is gone, but it is through faith that I can.
Through my faith, I am thankful for Mother’s Day, and every day. I’m grateful for the promise Jesus gives that one day I will be with her again. I am especially thankful for the opportunities that I have to go to church, even on Mother’s Day where I might have to swallow hard and wipe some tears, and fight back a few more thinking of how much I miss her. Although it will be hard, church is the place where I feel the closest to my mom. I now understand why she loved so much for us kids to join her and my dad any Sunday we could after we left home. I am thankful for the grateful heart that my mom modeled throughout every moment of her cancer battle. She reminded me that there is “always, always, something to be thankful for.” When asked how she was, she often replied “I’m grateful.” I am thankful for the love of family and friends, and for the blessing of being a mom myself. I am thankful for the 31 years that I was able to spend with my incredible mom.
On Mother’s Day and everyday, I’ll strive to live in the joy of knowing that God’s plan is better than mine, and hold tight to the promise that I’ll be together with my mom again someday. So for those sweet loving friends and family members who are thinking of me this Mother’s Day, you can know that through faith alone, I am doing well. And you better believe I am snuggling my sweet babes and thanking God for my chance to be their mom. ❤️🙏🏻